


Brave

by Mallorysgirl



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Coming Out, Denial, Internal Conflict, M/M, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 21:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20032264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mallorysgirl/pseuds/Mallorysgirl
Summary: Callum had been told many times that he was brave. But he hadn’t really felt brave until now.





	Brave

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Ballum fan fic. I hope you all like it, if you have any suggestions please let me know.

The feel of Ben’s lips crushed against Callum’s, felt rough yet so sweet. Having served in Army, Callum had been told many times that he was brave. But he hadn’t really felt brave until now. Pulling at Ben’s shirt, desperately trying free him of his clothes Callum finally understood what it was to be brave. 

His body ached for him; this feeling that was so new yet so familiar was exhilarating. He had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Ben Mitchell in this moment. Ben pulled away momentarily, searching Callum’s eyes for any doubt. But he didn’t see any, just warmth and wanting and most importantly lust. Callum pushed Ben back against the bench and kissed him with all the passion he possessed. That kiss held so many unspoken words for Callum. An acknowledgement of his feelings and that he wasn’t going to deny them any longer. 

………….

Callum’s acknowledgement was retracted quickly the next morning. The thoughts swimming around his brain were constantly conflicting each other as he lay with Whitney tucked into his side. Questioning the last twenty something years of his life. Who was he really? Did he like girls? Did he like boys? Has it always been there? Yes… maybe on some level. When the lads at school had spent their time passing around pictures of half naked girls and talking about wanking, Callum had just assumed that he was a late developer. That he’d catch up soon enough. But he never really did. 

Once he’d joined the army, subconsciously that need for denial had grown greater. He still didn’t seem to have the same enthusiasm for girls that his mates did. But it was just easier to take part in the banter, agree that Smithy’s girl had banging tits and laugh along with the rest of them. He had never felt like he’d belonged anywhere, not even in the army. He had joined up in the hope of finally feeling like he would belong somewhere, hoping that constant void, that ongoing feeling of loneliness would disappear. When he first joined he had no one, felt out of the loop. It was only when he’d been moved into the same section as Lee that he had felt accepted. He had known Lee Carter since he was small, their families having been close in the past. They had hung around together growing up and he was a welcomed and friendly face in a room full of strangers. Once Lee had left the army and come back to Walford Callum again felt completely alone. 

Growing tired of what Army life and the horrors of what war had done to him Callum was so grateful when his chance to leave had come. A decision that led him to Walford, and Whitney and most importantly Ben!

Ben! His thoughts drew back to him and the feel of his lips. Closing his eyes briefly he remembered he feel of them on his neck and across his belly. And most importantly the feel of them around his cock. He felt himself stir and quickly shook off the thoughts. He had to stop thinking about Ben!

He could hear Whitney wittering on about something but it was muffled by the sound of thumping in his ears and he knew he needed to get out. Escaping to the shower, Callum sank to the floor grateful that the sound of the shower disguised the sound of his sobs. He was so confused! He loved Whitney, she was amazing but Ben filled his soul. There was an ache inside him that was only filled by him. Last night in Ben’s arms he no longer felt lonely, finally he felt whole.

They had only gotten so far up against that picnic table before it was becoming too uncomfortable to engage in anything substantial. There was only so much rutting you could do before it became painful to stay in your jeans. Callum remembered Ben taking his hand and silently leading him out of the park. “Where are we going?” he asked the younger man, looking around nervously.

“Somewhere where we won’t be disturbed,” Ben answered. Rounding the corner they reached the car lot where Ben fished out his keys. Stepping into the darkened porter cabin he searched for the light and heard Callum step in behind him and close the door. Searching his face for some sort of clue to how he was feeling Ben found the permission he was seeking and surged forward to capture Callum lips with a kiss. Callum moaned into his mouth as the kiss intensified, slipping his tongue in mouth and tasting the faint remnants of left over whisky. Never breaking the kiss, Ben moved them over to the sofa pushing Callum down into a lying position until he was fully stretched out on it. 

Callum pulled the top half of himself up in an attempt to help Ben rid him of his jacket and shirt. Ben groaned at the sight of his toned chest and abdomen and quickly straddled him. Running his fingertips across Callum’s exposed skin he felt the taller man push himself forward into his touch. He couldn’t help himself; desperate to relieve some of the tension between his legs he circled his hips and ground his crotch into Callum’s. Callum moaned loudly, bringing his hands up to Ben’s hips and digging his fingers into his sides. He began to roll against Ben, and his hands pushed the younger man to pick up speed until the feeling was almost too pleasurable.

Throwing his head back Ben gasped “Cal…. we need…. to slow this…. down,” his breath coming out in short ragged pants “I won’t last… at this rate,”

Callum stopped rocking against him and slowed them down almost to a complete stop. Feeling brave Callum whispered that he needed Ben and moved himself into a sitting position. Ben moved with him and positioned himself on the floor between Callum’s thighs. Smiling coyly he undid Callum’s belt and jeans, before the taller man lifted himself up slightly for Ben to pull them and his boxers down. Callum’s erection sprang free and Ben tried his hardest to suppress a smile. 

“What?” Callum asked 

“Nothing,” Ben grinned “I take it your at least a size 12 shoe,” 

Blushing Callum covered his face with his hands briefly before smiling down at Ben “Shut up,” 

“Hey I’m paying you a compliment,” Ben smirked before dipping his head between Callum’s thighs.

……………..

Whitney’s banging on the bathroom door pulled Callum from his thoughts and the pleasurable feeling surging though him as he mentally relived last night, had to be abandoned.

Frustrated he called out questioning “Yeah?

“Babe, hurry will ya,” Whitney called “I’ve got to get ready for work and you’ve been in there forever,”

“Sorry,” he sighed, “I’ll be out in a sec,” Turning the water off, he instantly felt the cold air hit his skin making him shiver. 

“Babe seriously,” Whitney complained “I’m going to wee myself,”

Grumbling to himself, he was almost knocked off his feet as Whitney darted past him as soon as he opened the door. He dressed quickly making his way out of the flat as Whitney exited the bathroom. He’d go to the café for breakfast; he needed to clear his head. Being anywhere near Whitney or Ben was the last thing he needed right now.


End file.
